


Raven Shenanigans

by PastelDynasty



Series: CRinktober 2020 [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: But then I made it my longest fic, CRinktober (Critical Role), CRinktober 2020, Dumb c1 & c2 meeting, I did this really late, I like to believe Vax is out there as a bird causing problems, I may or may not also be really behind on c2, So some things might not be exactly correct, This is really dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26853868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelDynasty/pseuds/PastelDynasty
Summary: This time, she sees it all. As she ties her bag a final time, a black blur catches her eye. She whips her eye back just in time to see a raven swoop down and take her final piece.That’s the final straw.In a full-on rage now, she picks up the Magicians Judge and starts to charge towards the flying raven. As she goes farther and farther from the party, the Nein just continues to stare.“That can’t be the same raven, can it?”--The Might Nein keep getting harassed by a bunch of birds. Or, maybe it's just one bird who's really dedicated to fucking with them.(CRinktober 2020 - Day 4: Prank)
Series: CRinktober 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952461
Kudos: 30





	Raven Shenanigans

**Author's Note:**

> This is really late, sorry! I don't know why I made this so long, I'm legit doing this last minute...

The first incident seems to be just an annoying circumstance.

It’s when Nott is at her highest frenzied state, just getting back her flask from Jester.

It’s early evening, just on the cusp of the sunset. She’d promised only small sips, so she’s been regulating the amount she’s been drinking. Settling for the evening, the rest of the Nein are seated around a campfire bringing out an assortment of food for the evening's meal.

Caduceus takes out a few pieces of jerky across the campfire. He gives some to Jester and Fjord before holding it out for Nott.

It’s as Nott motions to take the jerky when the Raven swoops down. Flying past her, it quickly snatches the flask before Nott could even register the Raven. A brief moment passes before Nott screams towards the sky.

“WHY YOU-!” She reaches into her bag and pulls out her crossbow. The rest of the Nein jump back startled as Nott starts firing arrows in the air trying to hit the Raven. However, the Raven expertly dodges the arrows as it maneuvers it’s flying to avoid getting hit.

Fallen off the log he was sitting on, Fjord yells back at Nott. “NOTT! What the hell!?” The warlock had already summoned the Falchion, prepared to fight whatever the commotion was.

“THE RAVEN TOOK MY FLASK! KILL IT! KILL IT!” Nott’s yelling continues as she fires away at the Raven.

Feeling bad for stealing her flask in the first place, Jester recovers from the initial surprise and stands up. Muttering an incantation, Jester begins to make hand motions before a streak of light shoots from her hands towards the raven.

But even the perfectly aimed Guiding Bolt misses. The raven does _an actual barrel roll_ , and the bolt just misses the bird.

“What!” Jester yells in surprise. “Are you kidding me? Caleb help, _please?”_

Gone back to reading his book, Caleb gives an audible sigh before shutting it and gazing up. Without thinking, Caleb pulls out pieces of bat guano and sulfur and starts to mutter words. Recognizing the spell, Beau jumps up running towards Caleb to stop.

“Caleb don’t! It’s gonna destroy her fl-” Beau’s cry is interrupted as a massive ball of ember is thrown into the air towards the raven.

“MY FLASK!” Nott screams.

However, even that isn’t enough. As the flames of the fireball bellow, the party all watches in shock as the raven dives right throw the fire. The raven’s body is unscathed as it does a forward flip through the fire completely fine.

The party stares in shock.

“Okay! What the actual hell?” Fjord's voice breaks the silence. “Is this some kind of magic bird? Someones gotta be fucking with us.”

Fed up with the shenanigans, Caduceus finally stands up and looks directly at the raven.

“Hello.” The firbolg's raspy voice makes the raven dive down and it sits on the log next to him. “We’re incredibly sorry for attacking you, but if you could please give us back the shiny flask that would be much appreciated. Our friend heavily relies on it.”

The raven’s head tilts sideways with the flask still in its mouth. Staring at the cleric for a moment, it’s mouth opens dropping the flask onto the ground below. It flies away as Nott runs to the flask, cradling it as a mother would a child.

The rest of the party is in relative silence.

“Let’s never talk about this again.”

“Agreed”

“Yep”

“Ok”

“What raven?”

* * *

But they’re forced to talk about it after the second incident.

It’s a couple weeks later with the sun just rising. Having finished the night on the road, the party was packing up their things to head along.

Still a bit hungry, however, Yasha goes through her bag and pulls out a pack of jerky. She begins to undo the bundle of meat and takes a few pieces out. Placing it on the log behind her, she turns away and begins to tie the bundle. Finishing and putting it back into her bag, she turns back to grab the pieces.

But there are no jerky.

Confused, she looks around the log and lifts it hoping that it just fell off. However, no such meat is in sight.

Even more confused now, the rest of the party looks at Yasha in confusion.

“You good Yasha?” Fjord questions his friend.

“Yea. I just misplaced my jerky. Huh.” Yasha responds slowly still in a relative mind mess. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay...”

The rest of the party continues to go about their business and Yasha pulls out the pack again. Going through the same motions, she pulls out a few more slices and places them behind her once again. She puts the bundle back into her bag.

Turning back once more, the meat is missing again.

With rage, Yasha jumps onto her feet flipping the log into the air. Startled by the noise of Yasha and the crashing log, the party stares back in shock once more.

“Are you sure you’re good Yasha?” Jester asks Yasha in concern.

Still, in a rage, Yasha yells back at the blue tiefling. “Rah! I’m fine! The stupid jerky just keeps disappearing!”

Unable to find it, Yasha falls back into a sitting position once more. The rest of the party stare at each other and reluctantly continue to pack.

With one final effort, Yasha pulls out a final piece and places it on the log. However this time she’s gonna be smart about this. She turns back to the bundle to put it away again but keeps a close eye on the meat in her peripheral.

This time, she sees it all. As she ties her bag a final time, a black blur catches her eye. She whips her eye back just in time to see a raven swoop down and take her jerky.

That’s the final straw.

In a full-on rage now, she picks up the Magicians Judge and starts to charge towards the flying raven. As she goes farther and farther from the party, the Nein just continues to stare.

“That can’t be the same raven, can it?”

“No.”

“What? That’s impossible”

“It better not be! Or else I’m gonna be joining Yasha!”

* * *

But it was the same raven, and it comes back a final time.

A couple months later as the group is settled for the night, Beau and Jester are keeping watch for the party. In relative silence, the night sky is shining above with only the sound of crickets filling the air.

That is until a loud thundering boom is heard. Beau and Jester jump up into action as the rest of the Nein scramble.

“What! What was that!?” Veth frantically questions the two as she grabs hold of her crossbow.

Now all standing up, the party is at an utter loss as there is no danger in sight.

“I don’t know!” Jester responds. “Beau and I were just sitting when there was a loud boom!”

Standing there for a moment on high alert, the party is ready for a fight until Caduceus notices something next to Veth.

“Look.”

Right by her foot, the party sees two things. One, a loaded and steaming pistol that’s been torn out of her bag. And two, a very familiar raven standing on it.

Seconds pass as no one is able to respond.

“Okay! That’s it!” Fjord's frustrated cry is accompanied by a spell.

As the raven begins to fly away, it’s wings go rigid and the bird falls. Frozen from the Hold Monster spell, the raven is successfully caught.

“Okay, this is definitely the same raven. And it definitely is targeting us.” Caleb says as he approaches the bird. He begins to tie a rope around the raven so its wings are stuck to its side. “Caduceus, do you have something for us to talk to it? It must have a reason for screwing with us this bad.”

Thinking for a second, Caduceus approaches the tied bird. Now freed from the spell, the raven tugs back and forward trying to escape. With a brief whispered prayer Caduceus touches the raven.

_Melora, give us a helping hand._

Instantly, the frequent chirps of the raven become coherent speech.

“Jenga! Jenga! Jenga!” The bird calls.

The rest of the party look at each other in confusion, before one raises their voice.

“Uh, what’s Jenga?” Beau reluctantly asks.

The raven's calling is cut as it’s face twists in curiosity towards Beau. It stares back for a moment.

“Oh shit, you can hear me now,” the raven answers.

“Do ravens normally swear?” Asks Jester.

Caduceus looks back at Jester. “No, not in my experience.” The firbolg crouches once more and becomes face to face with the captured culprit. “So, obviously you are targeting us. And besides the obvious question of what you exactly are, we really just want to know why you’re harassing us this much.

“Well, were the gunshots too much? Maybe I should’ve just drawn dicks on all your faces, “ the raven responds.

“Oh! I like drawing dicks!”

“Yes, we know Jester…”

“To be honest,” the raven interrupts. “You lot just remind me of my family so I kinda wanted to fuck with you all a little.”

Fjord's face turns into one of confusion. “And how do we remind you of them?” He asks.

“You’re somewhat morally ambiguous shit-wats who travel the continent solving people's problems. But usually just makes things worse.”

“Yea, that’s fair,” Beau says with a grin. “Though I do question who you specifically are, as you obviously are not a raven.

“No, I’m not really a raven.” The not-raven takes a good look at the party. “Look, I’m Vax’ildan. I wasn’t always a raven but I am now for some very complicated reasons; which involve an assortment of dragons, gods, and a whole lot of shenanigans.”

“Well…” Caleb goes to sit down next to the raven. “We’ve got a lot of time, and I'm definitely intrigued”

“Ya! And then we can tell you more about us! You _totally_ gotta know about my god, The Traveller. Well, he’s not _really_ god, he just almost accidentally became one. Well, it’s less of a deity and more of a cult. He’s really just some fey guy named Artagin? No, wait Art-”

“Artagan?” Vax asks. As Jester gives him a nod, he continues. “Yea! I know that guy!”

“You do!? Isn’t he _so_ cool?”

“I’m kinda so-so on him. On one hand, he did help us save the world. On the other, he did strangle me to death one time…”

“What? What does tha-”

“Ok, well that’s a long story. Let's just start from the beginning. So, twenty-ish years ago I was a part of this group called Vox Machina. Now, we were a bunch of idiots, but…”

The night continues as the legend is told.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know if you want more dumb ways for Vox Machina and the Mighty Nein to meet.


End file.
